lolabobs: (Default)
okayness )

rubbishness )

I have also grown, over the last few weeks to hate the colour of every single one of my walls. I have no desired colour springing up in my mind, just a generous hatred of every tone and shade. Most loathed are the bathroom (dark blue) and the front room (shades of green). I might paint everything pink. I probably won't.
lolabobs: (Default)
This morning I hate:
Spiders, early mornings, snooty people, being judged, stingy eyes, trapped wind, untrapped wind, insecurity, having to go to work when I want to go back to bed, having to go to work when I want to write fic, not being able to read fic when I'm writing fic, my boss, my camera being broken, missing the use by dates on food, sore boobs, the smell of the food waste bin.

This morning I love:
My cats.

Balance not quite right there.
lolabobs: (DERREN GUN)
my gruntle has been dissed.
with no clear and present reason.
crappy day - with entirely nothing eventful happening whatsoever, no reason to be peeved or picqued or whatever (except my inhuman lack of sleep - in that the lack of sleep makes me feel inhuman, or the sand man is being inhumane toward me -take your pic)
Whatevr

which means that I have been grumpy, short, non productive. - ie I sat at work today writing lists of things I have bought on ebay, things I have bought on play. I alphebetised them, I chnaged the lay out. I erased the lists. I sent myself emails of woe. I attempted to draw - the naarmamo fairy has abandoned me after just two days of not drawing - maybe I have to introduce myself to Glarmaco instead?I did lists with other letters of things I like, then cheated, trying to have the same list but with different words.. I managed to get substitues for all of the G list with S. hmm.

Of course today, naturally was the day people kept asking me for favours and help and could you justs at work. And of I did and was polite, but omg the internal cursing.

bah humbug and stuff like that.
lolabobs: (Default)
I came home today to find a dead rat in my sitting room. One of the perils of cat ownership combined with cat flappery. It's not the first creature I've found, and this one had the bonus (from my perspective of course) of being dead and therefore not flying/running/hopping about the house squealing and shedding feathers and shit. Not quite sure then, why the sight of this creature reduced me to hysterical tears. hmm. -My dad is a sweetheart tho, instead of me stoically gathering the corpse for a dustpan disposal as normal, I phoned Mum - she told dad, and even before she'd twigged that I was aweeping and awailing he was on his way round to rescue me. -(He was a bit shocked therefore when I opened the door tearstained and sobbing, but dealt with the additional crisis admirably!)

After this storm had passed:
I took my injured chum to Kessingland to the opening of a new gallery and on to somerleyton for a party - abandoned her there tho and went on to a bbq held by another friend. Now I'm going to have a scone and clotted cream, and a nice cup of coffee. then bed.

oh and I'll cut the rest, cos other people's dreams not really interesting:-
Read more... )
lolabobs: (Default)
I'm getting really antsy about this whole family weekend thing that I have coming up.
really boring whinge about dull family stuff )

Anyway. I bought a kettle today - because G and I are too anti social to go into the staff area and loiter for the huge boiler thing to, erm, boil every time we want a drink. This is probably quite shameful, but whilst I am perfectly capable of having chirpy small talk with people I dislike, I choose to avoid it where possible. (We do like a great many people with whom I work, just not th ones with whom we share(d) a kettle!)

I am filling in my passport application in stages. I have become more and more travel phobic over the last couple of years. My passport has expired and I need to renew it - but have found it a quite impossible process. I have to do it in stages, then when I feel too sick, leave it to come back to another day! This is quite sad really. At the moment tho, I can say no to holiday suggestions because 'I don't have a passport' - there's no shame or room for persuasion. No matter how much I am nagged or guilted, I can't go. the minute I get it renewed it comes down to me and my travel phobia getting in the way, people judging and me feeling compelled. I don't want to go on holiday by mistake...

ooh, compliment - we have to get all our court reports 'gate kept' - to double check for errors and make sure not discriminatory etc. A colleague 'marked' mine today, expressed pleasure that I'd taught him a new word (truncated!?) and said that he'd 'been told you wrote good reports, so I'd been looking forward to reading one' :-)

enuff.
lolabobs: (cry ransom)
I am up and down like a bloody yo-yo
not in a good way
I cried on the way to work. When I got there, walked across the carpark and felt wonderful, bouncy and happy.
An hour later, with no possible prompt I was crying again. This has set the tone for the day.
Perhaps I am manic depressive with the shorteset cycle in the world?
Either way it sucks.
I am currently in a down wave.
Things bugging me:
1)My brother has assumed he will borrow my car next week when there is a family journey to be made to Portsmouth - this is when he has yet to pay me for last year when he borrowed the car and I had to insure him. This year he has not even asked me if he can have thecar, but has asked Mum to find out how early I can let him have it because he doesn't want to be inconvenienced.
2)My friend has assumed I will phone for a job application form for her tomorrow - and then has made pointed comments about me forgetting to do it, and can I get up early especially to do it. Again, didn't actually ask me to do it, just emailed me a phone number.
3)My house still smells where a stray cat has been in and i can't find where it's been to get rid of it and I hate it
4)I am £111 in CREDIT with the phone bill and they won't send me a refund

This is enough. I have decided to stop

Things that are good: Life on Mars is about to start on the telly
lolabobs: (cry spike)
I may be overtired, I woke at 6.24 this morning and had been into and out of town by 11am, which is stunningly bad form and shouldn't be encouraged.

I have built my new hoover (where exactly does it say on the box or catalogue or any internet site anywhere that when you spent many £s on a new hoover(having carelessly melted your old one) that you have to take it home and build it?!?! huh? hmmm? When I say I built, I mean that I opened the box, saw the instructions, couldn't get the pieces out of the box, so made coffee, cried, then called my Dad to come and do it. It now works spiffingly, and demonstrates how apallingly bad my last vaccuum was (or just what a slatternly 'housewife' I am.

My Persuaders! 'poster' arrived today, So on my Mother's Day flower buying dash this am, I bought myself a frame and now all I need to do is bang holes in the wall, but I think I'll do that when I am in a better mood. It is very beautiful though - Danny has a giant tie and leather gloves, and Lord brett is holding his arm with both hands and talking into Danny's ear. It's most lovely.

My feet hurt.

I have noodles and beansprouts and chicken for my tea. I have never cooked beansprouts before. I hope it is easy. I have sweet chilli sauce or stir fry sauce to use and I don't know which to have. These are very minor choices, but are looming above me most distressingly. I think I am definately overtired.

I dreamt that I had a fight - ie a falling out with my best mate P, and a physical rolling around on the floor wrestling fight with a vague aquaintance. Also that one of the g's at work (the irritating one) went to an awards ceremony wearing a kilt, revealing that he had only one leg, and our only reaction was that he was 'attention seeking'

pah. I'm gonna go and be grumpy elsewhere now.
lolabobs: (Default)
I'm too pantsy to post proper, so meme from elfinessey and dawn-eh (I'm too pantsy to do the proper name things too!)

Read more... )

otherwise? neighbours was fab. I bought Persuaders on ebay. and i am so argh it's argh and unsayable. argh.
lolabobs: (bloody spike)
i think i'm squidging in on myself to become a scrunched up ball of bleurgh.

I have been asked out to a meal at the weekend, one of a select group ... it's nice to have been asked, not quite sure why I was picked however. ( not false modesty, just that it's not the people I talk to most) nice tho... chinese meal. All i am worried about is the discovery that one ofthe boys going lives 5 minutes from me, and its been decided we will share transport... how can I make small talk for two half hour journeys....

sposed to be going out for a meal tomorrow too ( tho may just stay in and have pancakes ), then no more chocolate... argh! don't really knwo why i do it, I have no religious involvement whatsoever..

my squitty mate phoned me tonight, made no reference to his snotty message.. i couldn't be bothered to challenge.
going to bed now. hot water bottle. ibuprofen. a ripple bar, coffee and buffy dvd i think....
lolabobs: (cry ransom)
I have discovered I really really dislike swordfish. ( And consequently paid £13 for a handful of oven chips!)

I have had my first journey in a 2CV. (And pushed my first 2CV along 6 roads till we could find non permit parking to leave her when the accelerator cable went.This also included calming my friend, whose heartening response when things went wrong and the engine started making a horrendous noise etc, was to let go of the steering wheel whilst yelling 'oh no! oh no! oh no! oh no!'. We then walked to mine (she was giving me a lift home) so I could drive her home)

I have attempted to see Brokeback Mountain. (But the person I was going with thought it was in the little 1 screen cinema, not the other one, so didn't bring the right pass, and hadn't taken her beta blocker things that she needs for the big cinema. So we went to Asda instead)

I went to the awards ceremony. ( I drove. It took two hours, and I took a wrong turning on the way back, so went through all the little villages instead of the A11/A14 planned route. It was okay. the meal was nice, the ceremony as embarrassing as I anticipated (but it wasn't ME who fell over, so hurrah!). The motivational speaker WAS as embarrassing as one could anticipate, but the lady sitting next to me found him hysterical, and elbowed me in the ribs each time she laughed (deliberately) to draw my attention to the fact!)

I had some spare time at work so sorted out all the boxfiles and heaps etc that had been left in our office by the previous occupant ( I made organised files, with copies of forms and worksheets ready to use etc, was very organised. I found several duplicates of relevent manuals so took some through to the two men who started this month, The first pile ( a complete course file) I took through I was grunted at, the second (sentencing guidelines, essential for report writing) I was greeted with 'look do I actually need these?' - after that I threw everything else away, (in an admittedly juvenile funk, but manners don't really take that much extra effort do they!)

This is a (somewhat whingy) summary of my week. I have really spent most of it going to work, then going immediately to bed once home, feeling very bleurghy and pants, but that's enough of that.
lolabobs: (cry steve)
I am a little non specific grumpy tonight.

today was okay, there was laughing and not much work really - although amazed to find that I am 90% up to date with all the admin type tasks I am supposed to do - This is the most up to date I've ever been except when I very first started training and only had one case! - however did that happen? I appear to be getting organised. It is not like me at all.

My tea ( entirely unhealthy sausages and Aunt Bessie's oven chips was most scrummy, and I had a doughnut too, because it was somebody's birthday at work and I brought mine home. I made up nearly an hour today ( as in recouping lost time, I didn't actually make it (though if I were it could explain how I am getting up to date?)

I have to go to a graduation type thing on Friday. It is in Cambridge. People want to go by train and then go for a drink and be celebratory and fun. I am unsure about celebratory and fun, I am not always like this. If I go by train I will be able to 'join in' but will have to catch a 6.30 AM train, then pay for taxis across cambridge (a 20 minute journey apparantly) and will have to be sociable with others, whilst spending money and not getting merry, because it will be with important work people who I don't want to get drunk in front of and not just the nice work people.
If I go by car, I can leave an hour later and get home several hours earlier. I will only have to be sociable with the dull people for a few hours but will not be 'joining in' and will be stone cold sober throughout the speech ( somewhat worryingly it has Polar Bear in the title and is timetabled to last over an hour..)
Plus I don't want to have to walk across a stage in fron t of everybody and have photos taken ( and this isn't even a proper graduation ceremony with mortar boards etc - that is in July somewhen)

hmm. I am a bit boring really.
lolabobs: (willow teh sex)
hmm.

It was my Grandmother's 90th birthday at the beginning of the month, so last night my Dad took the extended family out for a meal - there were 21 of us, aunts, cousins etc. The restaurant was blatantly understaffed and the food was less than brilliant, but it was 'ok'. The thing is - the 21 of us sat down to eat together... but as different people finished their meals ( some had a la carte, some had carvery, some sweets etc so people were finishing at separate times) - two things that made me cross - 1, the waitresses were clearing plates - ie reaching across people who were still eating. and 2, family members were leaving the table!!! This latter in particular makes me so cross - how rude? They didn't seem to grasp the basic manners of dining together. In the end there was only Mum, Dad, My bro, his girlfriend, my nephew and me left, Whilst all the rest had dribbled off to the bar. Am I alone in thinking this appalling manners? At the end of the evening some of them didn't even thank my Dad. Pah.

Ada (my Grandmother) has reached that point where she appears to have shrunk. she was a shell of her former self ( sorry to talk in cliches!) - it's wierd, 'cos I don't have any feeling for her, never have, she's just Dad's Mum. She has been quite horrible in the past, manipulative etc, so I don't feel sad. just concerned for my Dad as she looked so frail and poorly.

I have just watched Buffalo Soldiers - and was bored stiff.. didn't like, root for, empathise with or feel any sympathy for any of the characters. Was bored, couldn't wait for the end (literally I was f/forwarding!) and hated it when i got there ( so if anyone wants it....)

Finally wrote to my friend ( 2nd time this year, nice to see I'm keeping my one a week resolution!)

Pah - gonna find something else to watch now, to take away the pahness... dunno what tho.. want something pretty..

Edit: Much happier now - have just finished watching Bad Education, which was lovely, involved my mind, engaged with the (very) pretty and was just intelligent, interesting, amusing, sexy and intriguing. Hurrah.
lolabobs: (Default)
I decided to not be lazy and went the park'n'ride way, and walked the long walk to lunch. (If I hadn't deleted the huge paragraph about my dilemma yesterday, you might know what I was talking about.. it's better this way)

Lunch was goood, (but not really, and I'm afraid to say it wasn't because that might be hinting that we are pulling apart after not working together anymore and was probably just cos was crowded and difficult and time constrained...)

I shopped - ( and I haven't done an I Bought... list for years, but feel like it so..): two cork noticeboards for practical reasons, books: Alan Cumming, Colm Tobein and Jake Arnott, DVDs: Dodge Ball, Bad Education and Garden State (have seen none of them, I had vouchers, they were on offer I couldn't find Compulsion or The Outsiders (both of which I think are out of print) so bought these instead) and Elvis Calandar (The King), and a 1930's football team in the bath...

I had clothing vouchers but from previous bitter experience know it's not a good idea to go clothes shopping when one is in a "My God Ms Jones underneath those glasses you're really ... Repulsive" mood.

Pah. I also bought a Terry's Chocolate Mint (not orange) orange thing - for 49p. Hmm.

My crabbiness has not yet departed.
lolabobs: (Default)
The mello ran away somewhere yesterday morning and i have been feeling cranky, crabby and cranky. Pah.

I was invited out yesterday and declined, then felt guilty and crabbier still for the rest of the evening - I read a book before bed then spent the next 4 hours going over and over it, dreaming/wakedreaming and just restless. last time i looked at my clock was 4am... so particularly unrested today! - then I had to go grocery shopping and I HATE grocery shopping, i get fractious and manky even when i start off in a good mood! - witnessed a shouting match between two strangers, one of whom had bumped into the other without due regard and apology, full out hollering in the aisles, so I know it's not just me who feels like that!

Mother and father invited me out for dinner - but would I drive 'cos dad's been at his naval association and been drinking rum...! Still I went and had a massive plate of roast dinner, so felt somewhat revived after that (I do get shakey and weepy when I don't eat... may explain my lumpen shape!)

Came home and watche ROPE - which cheered me up no end, I love the claustrophobic air of filmed stage plays and this had that in spades, even though it wasn't exactly that. The homosexuality was so well hinted at in a film that never once mentioned it ( even on set or in the writing process according to the author!) - and I loved the explicit direction, it was great, and did lift my mood a little..

Ah well, lunch with ex colleagues tomorrow, then shopping - I have £25 book tokens... so that will cheer me up more...!

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