Dream

Oct. 6th, 2013 09:26 am
lolabobs: (angels)
So yesterday I dreamt of Derren Brown, a little eye contact and shared understanding, but nothing else.

Last night I dreamed:

I had to euthanise my Grandmother (an imaginary one, none of my real ones thank goodness) by lowering her into a crocodile infested pond. This was normal, was what happened to people and was considered humane. (!)

I then realised I was supposed to be doing a degree as part of my work and hadn't done any of the work. I still had to go the year end feedback summary though - so I had to go and see my old boss from programmes. He gave me the nicest hug in the world. (In real life he looks like he gives the best hugs, I'd like a Charles hug.)

Then I had to go and see all my "work" on display boards - my colleagues were trying to say nice things about it, despite it being incomplete and rubbish.

Then I saw another colleague was giving "my" family (a mother and father and a young girl in a pink dress) all my feedback - like parents' day. I went and challenged him, saying just because I was mentally ill, he didn't have the right to do that. He apologised and took me off to see my work in his lock up. We went there and I had to wait for him, so I went and sat on his ginormous horsehair, scratchy sofa/bed. I woke up later (in dream) in bed with him, snuggled up against his back. Completely innocently, fully clothed, but his girlfriend was standing over us looking cross.
(In real life I would NOT like to be snuggled against this colleague in any way shape or form!)

Strange,
lolabobs: (angels)
And Bruce clearly agrees with me.

Bruce. photo 22092013366_zps4191a670.jpg

I spent the day writing a report for work to try and minimise the problems caused by my forthcoming absence. Bruce tried to sabotage me throughout, sitting on papers, knocking them to the floor, biting them and then trying to sit on the laptop when all else failed!

Still, it's done now - well, as best as it can be. I've emailed it in and I've posted my sick note, my list of case apts and details of what's coming due through the postbox at work and I've phoned and left a message that I won't be in. Now all I have to do is have the actual conversation with my boss tomorrow.

And my back is a little easier too so I might actually sleep tonight.

Little slivers of sunshine.
lolabobs: (angels)
I drove an hour to Norwich today, waited 40 minutes and then drove an hour back. All to have a Hep B vaccination. Which is quite a frustrating waste of time in and of itself. When you factor in the fact that the nurse delivering said jab didn't actually bother to make the journey herself, well, that adds a whole new layer of irritation.

Still, at least my arm isn't sore.

Yesterday I drove 5.5 hours for a 1.5hour meeting. I had a posh new hire car for that journey though, so that was yesterday's silver lining.

Today my boss got an ear bashing for a piece of work that wasn't done instead of me. (Mind you, it's fair 'cos it was her that hadn't done the work, not me.)

Also today: I spent hours today completing recall paperwork - completed on the shiny new forms that go with our shiny new computer system. (You know, the shiny new system that has tripled the time taken for anything to be done) - done this, only to get an email at the end of the day stating "oh, we can't use that form yet, you'll have to do it again" - (And no it isn't just a copy/paste job cos the boxes are different.) My nice boss had also spent several hours doing the exact same thing for another offender. Such purposeful use of our time. Nice to know I'm not the only one - and (because I'm so brittle at the moment I think) bosses have arranged for their PA to complete the redo and not me.

So hey, look at that - all those silver linings.
lolabobs: (angels)
Something's gonna give at some point I guess, but in the meantime, me and the tissue box are well acquainted and I have a constant headache.

Today though, amongst all the things and the stuff and the rubbish, I had to listen to colleagues pronounce to all who cared to listen, how much worse it was for the mothers at work than anyone else. Just how much more difficult it was for those with children to cope with the work load and pressures than those without children. So very much more tough.

Why exactly? Why does my work/life balance count for less than theirs? Why is it not equally as torturous for me to work myself into a puddle of shit as it is for them? Why does the fact that I don't get to see my friends because I'm working late every sodding night, count for less? The fact I have to leave work and then go and check in on Mum before I can get home? In fact, they don't work late - the parents all get to say "no, I'm not working late, I have kids" - why does that count for more than "I have to get home to care for my Mother, or to see a partner or even to spend a couple of hours on my own to reclaim my sanity"?

Don't get me wrong - parents have huge pressures, they have to juggle life and child care and stress and all the rest of it. But 90% of the time, that's a choice they made, no one made them have kids and they get all the joy and love and reward that goes with it. I'm happy for them.

But whatever being a parent makes them, it doesn't make them any more or less deserving than me. It doesn't mean that all the crap and stress and overwork hits me any less hard than it does them. Why do we have to grade on some sort of curve anyway. We're all in a shithole of a job, overworked and with redundancy looming. Why compete for who's suffering most?

Yes I'm tired, and worn down and crushed with it all. I'm harpy and oversensitive, but I'm equally as valid as those without children and I get fed up with being told I'm not.

[And no, no one on my lovely flist does this to me.]
lolabobs: (angels)
Oh I have been a Weepy Wendy today. Walked into work and basically spent most of the morning in tears - think I was in the loo more often than at my desk. Which, you know, a bit pants.

Still, I endured the day. I cancelled most of my appointments and avoided as many phone calls as I could and now it's the weekend so.

Yesterday was good though - It was my non working day, so I met a friend for lunch... We met at 11.30 and finally departed the snug at 6.00! Was good though. (even if part way through the afternoon it became burningly important that we remember how the Solar System worked and how the tides worked and what exactly it was the moon does. It's perhaps the only time in my life I will ever feel like Sherlock. We phoned her son in the end to put us out of our misery. And no, we were stone cold sober, our shame was entirely our own.
lolabobs: (angels)
I started to watch Big School today - managed 10 minutes before giving up. It's just, it almost felt like a school production, ridicuous OTT 'jokes' lacking in any degree of subtlety. And when it wasn't overpoweringly unsubtle it hit me in my second hand embarrassment squick. So I gave up. Philip Glenister notwithstanding.

Another thing I can't bear to watch, but for entirely different reasons, is the opening credits to True Blood. They creep me out so much, they make me feel anxious and want to cry. Which is bizarre because the show does no such thing. (I'm really enjoying the show, it's rich and funny and deliciously out there.

And taking the 'links' to ridiculous lengths;'talking of delicious...' - The Great British Bake Off has started. Yay. I love Sue and I love Mel'n'Sue and it's good and yes.

Oh, and as an aside, an offender's father threatened to hang me today. Way to start a Friday morning, death threats before 9.30.

Such fun.
lolabobs: (angels)
If you catch a glimpse of someone's pictoral keyring, but only a glimpse and you don't quite see it, even if you're 99% sure it's Miss Piggy, do NOT comment on it. DO NOT. Just DON'T.

Because 1% of the time it's not Miss Piggy, it's their wife.
lolabobs: (angels)
I survived a July of posting every day. (I hope it wasn't *too* tiresome for you all!)

Not sure what happens now, Naarmamo starts tomorrow, but I'm finding the mere thought of that rather daunting - We'll see what happens.

In the meantime tomorrow is bank apts and garage. Grown up stuff that I realise now, (As I type this before going to bed) that I meant to research on the internet in advance. Maybe I'll wake up early enough tomorrow to have a quick squidge.

I'm also needing to wash my clothes, dry and iron same, clean the entire house and pack for hols.

Fri I have a hundred and one work tasks I need to complete before I go on leave, so I expect an 8 or 9 pm finish.

Then hols (which I should be excited about, but am equally becoming daunted by - it's a 5 hour drive to the destination which is a stress in and of itself, and then there's going to be tons of family visiting, and staying in relative's houses and ...)

I'm sure it will all be spiffing.
lolabobs: (angels)
In non tv related news, I went back to work today. That was unpleasant. 300 emails (I managed to get that down to 200 by deleting all the emails about absences, cake and bee slaughter*), a morning spent trying to find b&b accommodation for a bod and an afternoon spent with shouty/letchy man, followed by a man whose partner died in their bed on Tuesday and is in shock and mourning and my bosses want me to force him to complete specific tasks and another man who upon receiving a warning letter re a missed appointment decided to discover "what colour his bones were" by cutting himself open to see.

I'd like that life changing lottery win about now please.



*bee slaughter.... apparently we had a bee's nest on the property, so they hired exterminators and destroyed it. This prompted a response of dismay from one or two colleagues - the only response they were given was a stern reminder/warning about the "misuse of company email" in complaining about it.
lolabobs: (angels)
I live in a seaside town, and the seagulls have their babies on the local rooftops every year. A few years ago there was a baby wandering round the road after it fell from the nest and, for a brief period of time, the street was adorned with small bowls of food and water outside every other door - which warmed the heart. Until someone shot it.

Today, there was a dead seagull atop my car. It showed no signs of injury, no wounds, but was (apparently, I made Mother go look when she visited) just dead on the car, with food in its mouth. I don't know what kills seagulls, if it could be natural causes, or if someone has poisoned it. The roof above has a dead chick on it. Not sure whether poison killed both, or whether the parent gull died and the chick died as a result. Further distressing me, is the fact that I can't be sure if there is another chick on the roof, (it's too dark to see, I spotted something that might be just as dusk was settling, there was nothing noticeable all day.) And if it is, I don't know if it's now abandoned or if the other parent seagull is tending it. Do they care in pairs? There are so many seagulls in the street, it's impossible to tell if any sounds are coming from a chick on that roof, or one of the others. It's unsettling me.

I'm also unsettled as I don't know whether I should go to work tomorrow. Realistically, I don't think I should. I would have to leave for a 90 minute drive for a morning's training, leaving at 7.30am, before moving on to a prison visit (more driving) in the afternoon. I'm still exhausted, have had two naps today and feel bleurgh. So, logically, I know I shouldn't even be thinking about it. BUT I no longer feel like death, so feel guilty at being absent on sick. Plus I will have to phone in sick tomorrow and still struggle under the thought if you call in sick you should *sound* sick.

It's stupid. I won't have the energy to do a day's travelling. I am still worn out, I have some residual pain and I am wan. it is very unlikely that I shall go in, but I shall not sleep fretting about it, and I shall feel sick until I call, and guilty after I do. You can see why I have never ever 'pulled a sickie' in my life, can't you.

I just feel bleurgh in general today.

Oh, but to end on a positive note, I watched Raymond Blanc tonight and he is soooo slashy. He has a chef mini me assistant. (Sous chef? I don't know his rank) called Adam (Although Raymond pronounces it all French and sweet and A-dam) and they have a fun relationship. But today Raymond was chasing him with a spritzy water bottle. And then, as if this little bromance with Adam isn't enough, he went to an Australian butcher and whilst they were carving up some beef, the butcher was saying how the clavicle was "just the right shape to spank a french chef" and how he would like Raymond there "all the time to hold my meat." Later they were drinking beer together, with Raymond asking "Why is yours bigger than mine".

So there's that.
lolabobs: (angels)
I want to rant about my job and about how my boss has frustrated me almost to the point of crying, but if I do it will push me over the edge and it will be boring in the extreme, so I thought I'd come on and say something positive instead but I can't think of anything, so I'm going to go to bed with some malteasers and a book instead.
lolabobs: (angels)
I've got to go back to work tomorrow. Which is depressing and distressing in equal measures. I am trying to not think about it, which isn't the best of ploys. I shall be going to bed imminently not sure whether that's a preparatory or an avoidance technique.

But! I've had a week off and it has been good and I have been busy -I have sewn (although not finished anything yet, as I got distracted), I have painted my bathroom, I have eaten out almost every day. I have seen friends and I have taken Mother shopping, I have seen friends, I have read fic, I have revamped my garden. (My garden is tiny, and "revamping" was really only removing a winter's worth of cat poo, stripping the bark away, replacing it with compost, weeding, pruning and planting out 72 Lobelia (I bought trays of plants, they were on offer, 3 for 2, I never looked at how many were in the trays, and now I have 72 Lobelia) I also have 3 periwinkle in pots. All of that took just long enough for me to have aching limbs and one shoulder and half my back burnt to buggery, whilst the rest remains resolutely lily white.) I lost track of my brackets there.

I also cleared out my clothes - wardrobes and chest of drawers, after opening a drawer I rarely use and finding a stack full of clothes I didn't remember owning. It sounds as if I have oodles of gear, but I'm just a rut dresser, wearing the same 7/8 outfits on a cycle. So, today I tried on, rejected unworn clobber (and found some stuff that I didn't know I liked - it's almost like shopping!

And I've been watching season 1 H50 and remembering when it was all good and every episode didn't make me cross.

The highlight for me has been the last two days though, I put my foot down (with myself as much as anyone else) and vowed that I wasn't going to leave the house. I can't remember the last time I did that (I can, it was before we lost Dad), since then I've been to Mum everyday, or on the days I haven't, it's been because I've been somewhere else and couldn't make it. These past two days are I think the first where I've just been here, doing what I want, with no time table. I haven't been idle, it's these two days that have seen me gardening and wardrobe sorting, but I've done it at my own pace. I haven't even gotten dressed today (or I've gotten dressed a hundred times, if you count trying on all my clothes!) and it's just been mellow. (Even if I've eaten cream crackers for all three meals, because I have no other food in the house!)

Anyway.

Work tomorrow. Bed now.
lolabobs: (angels)
My car broke. No it didn't. The battery broke. It has to have an MOT soon and I think it got nervous. Performance anxiety, y'know. So, We communed for around 80 minutes yesterday, in the bitter cold, in the dark, with rain and wind whistling around and my bladder screaming for attention. We waited together and shared confidences and then the magic car man came and poked things inside the car and left 3 minutes later, having instructed me to spend yet more quality time with the car. I made it through 28 of the 30 minutes I was supposed to drive around before my bladder gave me a final ultimatum.

But today the nice kwik fit man gave us a brand new battery, free of charge (courtesy of their guarantee thing) and together we swept around with the wind in our hair exulting in our new found energy.

(My battery has not been charged, I remain a lacklustre, fatigued and apathetic creature, but 1/2 aint bad.)

Otherwise this week I have survived the dentist and the doctor and a blood test at work. I've watched Call the Midwife and Broadchurch and Soldier soldier, and Oh my goodness were Robson and Jerome ever so young?
lolabobs: (angels)
Hello. I'm feeling a little more in control of things/less desperate at the moment, thank goodness.

It's come at a cost on the one hand, in that I worked 36 hours in 3 days, but on the other hand, I made some progress in those 36 hours. In particular I spent a couple of hours on Wed not actually working as such, but sorting out all the variously located collapsing piles of paperwork, so that I now know what actually has to be done and by when. It hasn't made any less work (in fact I found some things that had been missed) but at least I know now what I'm facing. So that has helped enormously. Plus I can see the desk now!

I had today off - for the last I don't know how long, my days off have been spent in my pyjamas alternately sleeping and crying but today I made sure I had a 9am appointment, which got me out and about early and I've been busy all day. Which I knew I should have been doing/done earlier, but just couldn't.

But today I have delivered all the things that needed delivering, bought, wrapped and sent birthday presents, taken stuff to Charity shops and the recycling centre (Oh the woe, no-one but no-one wanted my vhs tapes. I went to several charity shops and emailed others and they all said a resounding no. They went to the tip for recycling in the end. I watched once loved tapes go into the bins and there was sadness.), I also took my Mother's rubbish. She collects every piece of plastic, including taking apart bubble wrap envelopes and asked me to take some to the recycling centre - When I went to pick them up she had 4 enormous (so large they wouldn't fit in my car boot) sacks full!

Also I've done washing and drying, had a haircut, been to teh pharmacy for medication, been to the free range butcher chappie, slow cooked and frozen stuff, made the world's biggest fruit salad, been to my brother's and my mothers *and* won £80 on a scratchcard!!

I feel healthily tired today and for the first time in a very long time there isn't a cloud in my head.

I hope it stays like this.
lolabobs: (angels)
So things continue to be shit. I'm really struggling at the moment. Life is work, Mum and not sleeping (or nightmares, still not sure which I prefer!)

So work: The Government have decided my job is no longer needed, they're changing it so that only 20% of offenders will be managed by Probation Officers, the rest will be farmed out to private companies and volunteers, with payment being target driven. No thought as to how you assess achievement of targets, no thought as to how to manage fluctuating risk, who does assessments, who picks up the pieces - the response to a question around offenders going on to commit serious offences without the current monitoring and risk management was a shrug and effectively "shit happens".

The reality of it, for our office and our numbers, is that we will need 3-5 Probation Officers only to manage the numbers, and none of the lower grade staff. Which is 70% redundancy for POs in my office, 100% for lower grades. The goal is that Probation services will create private companies and TUPE us across, but then they'd have to win the contracts and our salaries and leave etc wouldn't really be protected. All this will be made final in a week or two and will probably be instigated within the year.

If I lose my job? Well, I'm not qualified for another role without further training and have no money to start yet another degree. I'm lucky in that I will be able to move back with mother if it becomes a necessity but it's still shite on a stick while it's all so unknown.

In the meantime, I'm working 12-13 hour days trying to manage an excessive caseload and getting nowhere. Spending my days getting shouted at and threatened and am very clearly not waving but drowning.

I went to the doctor yesterday, for my ulcer medication - he says it should be better by now and has threatened me with further hospital referrals if I don't improve. He was talking to me, then stopped and asked what was wrong and I realised I was crying. He's a lovely chap. (Last week when we took Mum, he likened her kidneys to a tea strainer, then pointed out that hers was "a very old tea strainer"). He talked to me for a bit and wanted to sign me off, offering 3 times but I said no. Not quite sure why now, but there it is.

In the meantime if a man in lavender glasses stabs me, I foretold it in my dreams. So yay me
lolabobs: (angels)
We have snow, but not as much as they keep telling us we're going to have. Which, I don't even like snow, but I can't help but feel cheated.

Work has been weird - Monday started by going in and finding out that one of the receptionists had been sacked abruptly late Friday, which was unsettling. It's sad that all the expressions of sympathy were empathic in nature, frather than genuinely upset that the particular person had gone. Sad too that the reactions went from "Gosh, really why?" to "who's covering her work?" very quickly. She was an odd and not overly pleasant person though, so I guess that's been reflected.

Anyway, after that, Tuesday there were men on the roof making ridiculous amounts of noise. Removing some form of structure, which resulted in Wednesday, walking into an office with caved in ceilings, debris and muck and much water everywhere. (Thankfully not my office space). Much dispute has arisen between contractors and management as to the extent and cause of damage. (contractors are positing the theory that it was a coincidental ceiling catastrophe and naught to do with their removing roof tiles and failing to secure any cover...)

Friday saw confirmation that, once again, they are moving staff around, shifting people's desks and locations and general disruption. Have yet to have any real explanation as to why. Of course, we all have so much free time that a few more days wasted packing up and relocating is not going to be a problem. \sarcasm.

Anyhoo.

On top of that it's been a crappy week, I've been speaking to Debs around the loss of her mother and it's heartbreaking just on a compassionate level, but of course, it's bringing far too much to the fore about Dad - and as a consequence I'm dreaming horribly (or about my late boss*, which is equally disturbing if not emotionally distressing) On a lighter note though, I did dream that my bathroom taps were possessed by an evil spirit so I attempted an exorcism by singing Amazing Grace at them...

I don't think Sam'n'Dean ought to try that anytime soon (although it would be amusing to watch, perhaps less so than the current eps!)

On the tv front - I'm watching; SPN, this week's episode was good, but emotionally bleak. H5O which was, well, rather ridiculous of course, but enjoyable nonetheless. Ripper Street - similarly ridiculous, but managing to seem believable while I watch and I really like it and I have Suits still to watch. Oh and Lewis! I don't like it in two halves and I don't like where it's going but I'm enjoying the journey, and there was a dramatic moment when Hathaway looked sooo young and vulnerable and oh.

And my tummy hurts still and I've been feeling bleak all week, but I bought myself a new duvet cover and I won £5 on a scratchcard and I'm trying t hold on to the bright side.

*did I mention that walking into work a couple of weeks back I clearly and distinctly heard his voice? There was just me in the corridor and two women in the staff room. Strange. He would have found the concept of haunting the place amusing though, so I'm not perturbed.
lolabobs: (angels)
I thought I was doing well with Foul Letchy man this week.

The session was going well, he didn't shout at me, even when I told him he wasn't allowed contact with children, he didn't point at me, he only swore for half the time. It was going well.

Then he told me of his desire for a partner - initially linked to the issues with child contact, so a valid conversation at that point. Valid until he announced "I'm what the Americans would call a Chubby Chaser. I like something to get hold of, something to keep me warm at night. YOU know what I mean."

SHUDDER

(it's not the words as such, it's the letchy look mingled with optimism that he gives me)

Mind you, as the Government are doing their damnedness to put me out of a job and franchise Probation out to the cheapest bidder,I won't have to worry for much longer.
lolabobs: (angels)
Belated Happy New Year. Lj was petulant every time I tried to post at an appropriate time, so I played it at its own game and stopped trying. Ha! I can outsulk you lj, anytime you like.

In the meantime, I have been to work - which was rubbish as usual. Oh, but the foul man - I saw him again (We bumped into him in the street over Christmas) and he started out aggressive, before moving on to quiz me about who I was out with when he saw me and what I did over Christmas. (A while ago he asked me if I knew what it was like to go through a divorce, I gave my standard answer that I don't talk about my personal life at work from which he has intuited (!) that I am divorced with children - he continues with this idea, I continue to give no information other than generalised "yes, I had a nice Christmas"). I then had to talk to him about a missed appointment, making it clear that a second missed apt would result in a return to Court, he was sulky about this. Then announced "You need to find another job." He repeated himself, then added "You're too good for Probation. I like you."

UGH UGH UGH.

Who'd have thought I pined for threats!

Work aside there was a New Year's Eve. Which was quiet but I can't be bothered to write about it. I was going to comment on the Jools Holland programme, but I realise I can't spell it. It was enjoyable anyway!

I have made some resolves and am going to do a book for them in a minute. If I get organised enough I will scan it.

Oh, I watched The Hobbit. Not in the cinema, I wasn't overly interested really, but then it became available and I thought I might as well and it far exceeded my expectations. (I had none, well, I expected to be bored). I have no knowledge of the source (I should read it really) and so none of it offended me and although there were bits that I initially wasn't clear on (I struggled to tell Orcs and Goblins apart for a while) I did enjoy it and even have interest and anticipation for seeing the next installments. Hell, be truthful, I'm even tempted to watch it again. Plus Richard Armitage is very easy on the eye.

Miranda - I watched her too (twice) and enjoyed it muchly.

The decorations (such that they were) came down in all locations I am linked to - at work I was called "The Bauble Police" because I insisted they came down Friday so as not to pass Twelfth Night.

I have increased medication for my ulcer issues, I have multi vitamins and I have a headache.

I was succesfully outbid on something on ebay that I bid impulsively for and regretted. (Joules did a breakfast giftset for Christmas. I wanted the bowls that came with it but wasn't overly bothered by the box of porridge oats, the toast racks or the eggcups (I already have the eggcups). I was going to buy it half price in the sale, but they sold out. I became a bit obsessed, found it on ebay and bid in a moment of ridiculousness - thankfully someone was even more silly than me and outbid me (paying more than full price ultimately PLUS postage.) The bowls are pretty though.)

Then I undone the good work by paying £36 on a dish drainer. £36! More stupidity, provoked by a "I have a coupon to get £10 off if I spend £50 and I want the cheap perfume (that was a bargain at half price) and I need to buy something else to take it over £50 and... yes, I know it's rubbish. My bank account is struggling after Christmas anyway and I need to economise not buy unneeded things. On the other hand it is very pretty.

I shan't tell you about the sink tidy I bought to go with it, or the new duvet cover.
lolabobs: (angels)
Well, I've been stressing about today for weeks - and now it's done.

Visit to a prison for an Oral Hearing. 4 hour drive for a 3 hour Very Formal meeting. I've managed to never be called to one before and now my time was up.

Started well - realised 50minutes along my way that I had forgotten my purse - my first gripe with this was the realisation that I wouldn't be able to buy any lunch, shortly after I also remembered that my route included the Dartford Crossing and I had no toll.

I cycled through being stressed about that - (would they block me?, How embarassing would it be?, Would I cause a huge tail back?), with stress about the hearing (Would the Judge be mean? Would they ask me questions I didn't know the answer to? Would I say the wrong thing?), with stress about not having eaten (Would my ulcer flare up? Would I be sick in the meeting?) with concerns about the weather - which was deciding to do a very good impression of a blizzard. A blizzard in which everyone was travelling at 30mph. Which of course is teh sensible option, but it meant I was running very very late.

I had called work a couple of times, to seek solutions for fuelling (car and me) issues and then received a call saying the prison were trying to get hold of me to see if I could get there early as they were waiting for me.

(To put this further in context, up until a fortnight ago I was going to attend via video link when the Judge decided that actually, no, I was going to attend in person thank you very much. Judge was adamant about this.)

I phoned the prison and told them that I had reached Ipswich, this leg of my journey, which should take an hour, had so far taken two and a bit. I would, i told them, most certainly not be early - likely an hour or so late in fact and not in less than 3 more hours) Hmmm. I was told to sit where I was and await a decision.

I sat. In a freezing car in a blizzard for 40 minutes. Although whilst I sat and shivered (under a coat and two jumpers, scarf and gloves) I got nearer to a cancellation verdict. Or nearly.

I was instructed to "find your nearest Probation Office and we'll do a teleconference." Which was very helpful of them, and my nearest P.office were quite accommodation when I turned up on their doorstep.

(Apart from the Senior who scolded me thoroughly for parking where their receptionist had told me to do so. She wanted me to go and pay to park "like we all have to" - it took three attempts for my explanation that I had absolutely no form of cash, credit or currency at all to get through.

Still, they gave me a little room to sit in (told me three times, (it appears to be the Magic Understanding Number) that I had to "turn off the lights and lock the door" when I was done. And there I sat, teleconferencing my way through 2.5hours of mini trial.

And that bit was okay - I went last so could do a lot of "as X said"ing but I felt calm throughout, the Judge was actually very friendly (and I never called her Ma'am once) and even the lawyer wasn't awful.

Phew.

And it stopped snowing. I came home and finally, finally ate something at 8pm.

And now I can sleep for the first time in weeks....
lolabobs: (Default)
I hate my job. More and more every single day. I had to interview a man about (owning not making) animal pornography yesterday. Today I'm writing reports on offences that are too triggery to risk writing. I don't have enough time to do the work, I hate the work and I don't like the clients. Argh. Seriously though, screeds of animal pornography that he saw no wrong in whatsoever.

I clearly hate my job as much as the waitress who on Saturday responded to my request for a serviette with the comment "You should have got one from the till when you paid."

I spent yesterday in bed after the animal man gave me a migraine. I went back into work today. Do not underestimate how much of an achievement this was.

Also do not underestimate the fact that it is a (almost) week since I had to tidy my house for my work colleague to visit. She didn't visit by the by, but hey ho. But (almost) a WHOLE WEEK later and I have WASHED UP EVERY DAY and still have everything tidy. EVERYTHING IS TIDY.

This is a miracle of monstrous proportions.

I have a cat sitting on my feet. It is cosy.

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October 2013

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