lolabobs: (wibble)
Have spent much of today asleep -Am cutting this, 'cos I seem to have gone on a bit about health and general anxieties and stuff too dull to inflict without a cut - enter ye at your peril )

I've been burning discs, just need to work out how to send them, I don't have any cases, I guess they'll be okay lose in a padded envelope or something. I will see what I can find. :)

Ooh - should have checked my oil and water I suppose - by which I mean I should have looked pitifully at my father and asked him to 'show me how to do it' again... I'm a pathetic excuse for womanhood. But I like my Dad looking after me.

Ah well, I shall go an take my anxieties to bed. :)
lolabobs: (sad spike)
I wish it were the weekend already.

Not that there's badness now,I just want to sleep late and relax.

I have received 4 DS vids/dvds from eBay, I wanna sit and watch them, well, maybe at least one of them - with wine and maybe popcorn.

I have fic things that I need to write or just forget about, 'cos theya re buzzing in my head and becoming distracting.

I want crisps! I gave them up for Lent (challenge not religion) and I miss them. It's bizarre, I ate chocolate every single day, and I gave that up at the New Year, with barely a backward glance (60 days without and counting!), Crisps on the other hand I'm finding really difficult. I think about them every day. (Not in a yearning, mournful way you understand, just "I'll have a sandwich and crisps for dinner - oh, no I won't" kinda way.)

I am cold today. In an ice cream way.
lolabobs: (Default)
I have been so up and down today. Incredibly low this morning. Felt kinda helpless, which I don't really understand. Definitely just going through the motions at work (I didn't actually see anyone, just shuffled paper). The only thing I enjoyed was gate-keeping reports. I was a bit clumsy too, which is crap. However G brought me in a slice of his birthday cake so that was cool. Home made carrot cake.



Mum came round and did my washing up - that was good. Oh and I had pancakes which were lovely (told my friend - she sent me numerous texts reminding me how unhealthy and fattening they were. I know this.)




Scrubs was on - the episode where Carla and Turk are having marital probs. One tiny section - Carla goes to visit her mother's grave. Low key. Not a big dramatic moment - but I started crying - and I mean proper sobby type crying, not just pretty watery eyes. Odd. Bloody hormones. I never used to do PMT like this - not for years. I get bad pains, and am grumpy on the first cple of days related to the pain, but these last two months I have been crap beforehand. Bah




However - I have gotten some fabulous feedback for my fic - so I was beaming when I came home from work! Wasn't sure whether to post even (PMT insecurity plus unbeta'd) but went for it this morning - glad I did now. I know FB isn't the be all and end all, but it doesn't hurt!
Will respond individually tomorrow.

this is the picture I was gazing at when I wrote it! )



The new girl at work seems to have decided I am great. (Which is an entirely logical conclusion.) Her discovery of this however means that she keeps coming in to my office to talk to me. Regular visitors to my brain will know that I am not overtly sociable... She 'popped in' 8 times today! 8. I guess I am too helpful. I caught her cheating though! She was supposed to write a paper without accessing my report to do so - but she cheated and didn't realise the computer would tell me. Tee hee.




That's it!
lolabobs: (sh coffin)
Bronchitis - well that's what my friends, family and t'internet all say. I just say "cough"

I have spent much of the day asleep. forgot to eat or drink anything till 5 - which *anyone* who knows me (or sees me!) will tell you is unusual.

one pretty picture -non SH-ers look away )

Now I'm going to bed.

oh Scrubs was kinda sweet t'other day - the one where Cox gets all depressed and they take shifts to look after him. Aw.
lolabobs: (bloody spike)
Heh - my boss spent some time today telling me all about a hotel she stays, where the decor is very "homoerotic", with lots of images of young men in trunks (a la 1940s/1950s Burt Lancaster From Here to Eternity style bathing costumes) and draped around! Heh! I wanna go. She describes the wing as very Cape Cod, and shabbily genteel. Sounds fab - somewhere 'Up North' apparantly!

The training I was supposed to go to in Witham next week has so far today been cancelled, been reinstated, been cancelled, been relocated to Mildenhall and is now 'on hold.' As it's a four day training course I kinda need to know to arrange care for cats, travel and to wean myself off teh internet (I def need a laptop!)

Hee - I was doing some background reading today prior to writing a report (putting it off, 'cos it's a really manky report and I'm struggling) and the research was around internet paedophile/sex offences - there was a questionnaire included that is apparantly used in some assessments - some of the questions were clear and logical as to the route/reasons for inclusion. Others were less conclusive ie "Have you ever spent more than 3 hours in one go connected to the internet" or "Have you made friends onthe internet who share your interests" (and these aren't specific SO questions at this stage). And then there are the truly obscure - such as "Can you remember speaking with someone who wears glasses" and "Have you ever been for a drive in a car" - I mean what the hell?
None of it helped in the writing of the report though,I spent best part of the day finding other things to do, walking aimlessly round the building, or staring blankly at the screen not wanting to start. bleurgh.

Um. Anything else?
lolabobs: (cry steve)
Another bleurghy day.
Masses of work to do still, my lunch was foul and I'm lonely! I hate it when G is on leave, it's so quiet in the office... who knew - Lola who needs isolation else she'll go loopy, doesn't like working on her own!

general ennui as well tho, plus a reluctance to go to bed and consequently a reluctance squared to get up in the morning! I recommended someone for prison today though - can't decide if that's a good or a bad thing - he did deserve it, but it's kinda against the ethos. Oh well. Another man shook my hand - and made me blush! What's that about? I'm not the shy retiring type generally?

blurp. better try and force some kind of sleep.

Black & Blue today, and The Groupie. Huggie was very flirty with Starsky in the former. And in the latter there was some nice interaction between the boys.
lolabobs: (DERREN GUN)
Really crappy day. got worse. (insert lots of whinging here, really can't even be bothered to type it all). Came home.

I thought I'd cheer myself up with next dose of S&H. Can't go wrong... So which episode am I up to?

Starsky's Woman.

That worked then.

(yes, I know it was stunning, PMG broke my heart. That's the point!

Now I'm looking at old newspaper cuttings instead...
Lookee.. Starsky with a beard and he's more beautiful than ever )

Think I'll go back to [personal profile] lydia_petze post now and read some of the porn!Fic she was recommended. That might cheer me up!
lolabobs: (DERREN GUN)
my gruntle has been dissed.
with no clear and present reason.
crappy day - with entirely nothing eventful happening whatsoever, no reason to be peeved or picqued or whatever (except my inhuman lack of sleep - in that the lack of sleep makes me feel inhuman, or the sand man is being inhumane toward me -take your pic)
Whatevr

which means that I have been grumpy, short, non productive. - ie I sat at work today writing lists of things I have bought on ebay, things I have bought on play. I alphebetised them, I chnaged the lay out. I erased the lists. I sent myself emails of woe. I attempted to draw - the naarmamo fairy has abandoned me after just two days of not drawing - maybe I have to introduce myself to Glarmaco instead?I did lists with other letters of things I like, then cheated, trying to have the same list but with different words.. I managed to get substitues for all of the G list with S. hmm.

Of course today, naturally was the day people kept asking me for favours and help and could you justs at work. And of I did and was polite, but omg the internal cursing.

bah humbug and stuff like that.
lolabobs: (Default)
I lay awake till gone 4 last night - then kept waking up for the remaining few hours before I had to get up. Consequently I am very very tired, and consequently very emotional.
vis: I cried when the postman came and didn't bring me the Starsky & Hutch dvd!!!
In my defence, I had my day planned around this - I am painting my bathroom, and had S&H planned for lunch break and then later as a reward for completion. Yes I am Sad. Yes I am obsessive and slightly odd. What of it? I did get a letter telling me I will be getting a pay rise of almost 5k! Which was nice. And My Borstal Boy book arrived - So I have something to read now I have worked my way through the Neil Gaiman books I bought. But even so.

Also naarmamo us finishing today and this is sad. I do not have bannerish thoughts/ideas either yet.

I have to go and paint some more bathroom now -I am peeved as the white is gonna need a second coat and I'd hoped I could get away with just slapping on the one. Thanks Goodness it's such a small room.

Whinge over (for the minute)
lolabobs: (compal)
sad today. gormless pointless sad with no reason.
It's silly - my favourite word is 'melancholy' - I love the way it looks on the page, the hollow ch sound and the mournfulness it symbolises.
It is however an absolutely pantsy way to actually be feeling.
so feeling sad and weepy. paniccing over texts sent, comments left etc, useual sort of paranoia that comes along with it.
so frustrating. When you have reasons to be unhappy you can rant about it and be all rargh! and !achhh! and it kind of helps.
Instead I will announce that there is positively nothing wrong. I have no woe.
I'm just temporarily broken.
lolabobs: (Default)
I came home today to find a dead rat in my sitting room. One of the perils of cat ownership combined with cat flappery. It's not the first creature I've found, and this one had the bonus (from my perspective of course) of being dead and therefore not flying/running/hopping about the house squealing and shedding feathers and shit. Not quite sure then, why the sight of this creature reduced me to hysterical tears. hmm. -My dad is a sweetheart tho, instead of me stoically gathering the corpse for a dustpan disposal as normal, I phoned Mum - she told dad, and even before she'd twigged that I was aweeping and awailing he was on his way round to rescue me. -(He was a bit shocked therefore when I opened the door tearstained and sobbing, but dealt with the additional crisis admirably!)

After this storm had passed:
I took my injured chum to Kessingland to the opening of a new gallery and on to somerleyton for a party - abandoned her there tho and went on to a bbq held by another friend. Now I'm going to have a scone and clotted cream, and a nice cup of coffee. then bed.

oh and I'll cut the rest, cos other people's dreams not really interesting:-
Read more... )
lolabobs: (Default)
argh - buzzzzzzing and just can't focus. head is full of pressure and fingers feel like full of creatures, buzzing and bzzzzzzzzz and it's just so overwhelming and all I want to do is make little holes so it can drip out and stop with teh buzzing already.
I amclumsy - already twice today, and can't be doing with that, especially not at work, 'cos clumsy is bad, andbesides it doesn't really help, just makes the tensionget more instead of less, like a big big bnit of elastic - and there's an image where somebody smacks and smacks an smacks into thekeyboard until their fingers are naught but bloody stumps, and stillthey keep going. that's me that is ( not my mum and I don't drink milk) but I know what I mean and can this all be down to hormones or teh sun? wtf as they say. and yet. and et. so much to do, very much, and there are case studies too, i'd forgotton those, so that makes it even worse. and when? when do you do them when you have 15 minutes for lunch and stuill have to do all the work and people call and come and see and i take time out to read teh stupid emails theysend over and over and againa and againa and it's not even fpr me, management stuff and trainee stuff and that';s not me. i'm just stu k inteh middle and my fingers are so full of buzzzzz
lolabobs: (dps robin)
I have the attention span of a gnat at the moment.
I think my nephew infected me with more than a cold last week - At work I have a trillion things to do, a pile of which MUST be completed by tomorrow - yet I type a paragraph, then sit and stare at the wall - it appears in fact, that staring at the wall is possibly the only thing that doesn't bore me at the moment.

I am reading voraciously, getting through D&P books at the rate of 2 every 3 days, and this is all I can focus on.

I can't be bothered to watch tv or any of the many many unwatched dvds, I'm ignoring Big Brother and haven't turned proper telly on for days - since Thursday when I watched the going in BB.

I even got bored waiting for the water to boil today!(mind you that's so much better since we got our anti-social kettle).

blahdeblug.

I 'booked' my central heating today - that's £5k gone in a flash, but at least this winter I won't be huddled in front of the puta with 7 different layers on. I can't decide whether to get a nice new gas fire (one that looks stylish and warm and homey, nothing mank) to go with, or whether I just won't need it? there's something kinda psychological about seeing flames in winter.. I don't know.

pooh - have only just realised that Dalziel & Pascoe dvd isn't actually out till Spetember. poo.

Also, my freeview box is really crap at the mioment and gives me less channels than proper tv - do the aerial booster things help with freeview signals?

All these silly puzzles.

I will send my sweepstake thing Friday by the way..

I could sit here now just hitting the keyboard with random letters, but probably not very productive. I think I will go and have some malt loaf instead.

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