working on it

This morning I hate:
Spiders, early mornings, snooty people, being judged, stingy eyes, trapped wind, untrapped wind, insecurity, having to go to work when I want to go back to bed, having to go to work when I want to write fic, not being able to read fic when I'm writing fic, my boss, my camera being broken, missing the use by dates on food, sore boobs, the smell of the food waste bin.

This morning I love:
My cats.

Balance not quite right there.

I came home today to find a dead rat in my sitting room. One of the perils of cat ownership combined with cat flappery. It's not the first creature I've found, and this one had the bonus (from my perspective of course) of being dead and therefore not flying/running/hopping about the house squealing and shedding feathers and shit. Not quite sure then, why the sight of this creature reduced me to hysterical tears. hmm. -My dad is a sweetheart tho, instead of me stoically gathering the corpse for a dustpan disposal as normal, I phoned Mum - she told dad, and even before she'd twigged that I was aweeping and awailing he was on his way round to rescue me. -(He was a bit shocked therefore when I opened the door tearstained and sobbing, but dealt with the additional crisis admirably!)

After this storm had passed:
I took my injured chum to Kessingland to the opening of a new gallery and on to somerleyton for a party - abandoned her there tho and went on to a bbq held by another friend. Now I'm going to have a scone and clotted cream, and a nice cup of coffee. then bed.

oh and I'll cut the rest, cos other people's dreams not really interesting:-
( Read more... )

I am up and down like a bloody yo-yo
not in a good way
I cried on the way to work. When I got there, walked across the carpark and felt wonderful, bouncy and happy.
An hour later, with no possible prompt I was crying again. This has set the tone for the day.
Perhaps I am manic depressive with the shorteset cycle in the world?
Either way it sucks.
I am currently in a down wave.
Things bugging me:
1)My brother has assumed he will borrow my car next week when there is a family journey to be made to Portsmouth - this is when he has yet to pay me for last year when he borrowed the car and I had to insure him. This year he has not even asked me if he can have thecar, but has asked Mum to find out how early I can let him have it because he doesn't want to be inconvenienced.
2)My friend has assumed I will phone for a job application form for her tomorrow - and then has made pointed comments about me forgetting to do it, and can I get up early especially to do it. Again, didn't actually ask me to do it, just emailed me a phone number.
3)My house still smells where a stray cat has been in and i can't find where it's been to get rid of it and I hate it
4)I am £111 in CREDIT with the phone bill and they won't send me a refund

This is enough. I have decided to stop

Things that are good: Life on Mars is about to start on the telly

I'm too pantsy to post proper, so meme from elfinessey and dawn-eh (I'm too pantsy to do the proper name things too!)

( Read more... )

otherwise? neighbours was fab. I bought Persuaders on ebay. and i am so argh it's argh and unsayable. argh.

I have discovered I really really dislike swordfish. ( And consequently paid £13 for a handful of oven chips!)

I have had my first journey in a 2CV. (And pushed my first 2CV along 6 roads till we could find non permit parking to leave her when the accelerator cable went.This also included calming my friend, whose heartening response when things went wrong and the engine started making a horrendous noise etc, was to let go of the steering wheel whilst yelling 'oh no! oh no! oh no! oh no!'. We then walked to mine (she was giving me a lift home) so I could drive her home)

I have attempted to see Brokeback Mountain. (But the person I was going with thought it was in the little 1 screen cinema, not the other one, so didn't bring the right pass, and hadn't taken her beta blocker things that she needs for the big cinema. So we went to Asda instead)

I went to the awards ceremony. ( I drove. It took two hours, and I took a wrong turning on the way back, so went through all the little villages instead of the A11/A14 planned route. It was okay. the meal was nice, the ceremony as embarrassing as I anticipated (but it wasn't ME who fell over, so hurrah!). The motivational speaker WAS as embarrassing as one could anticipate, but the lady sitting next to me found him hysterical, and elbowed me in the ribs each time she laughed (deliberately) to draw my attention to the fact!)

I had some spare time at work so sorted out all the boxfiles and heaps etc that had been left in our office by the previous occupant ( I made organised files, with copies of forms and worksheets ready to use etc, was very organised. I found several duplicates of relevent manuals so took some through to the two men who started this month, The first pile ( a complete course file) I took through I was grunted at, the second (sentencing guidelines, essential for report writing) I was greeted with 'look do I actually need these?' - after that I threw everything else away, (in an admittedly juvenile funk, but manners don't really take that much extra effort do they!)

This is a (somewhat whingy) summary of my week. I have really spent most of it going to work, then going immediately to bed once home, feeling very bleurghy and pants, but that's enough of that.

hmm.

It was my Grandmother's 90th birthday at the beginning of the month, so last night my Dad took the extended family out for a meal - there were 21 of us, aunts, cousins etc. The restaurant was blatantly understaffed and the food was less than brilliant, but it was 'ok'. The thing is - the 21 of us sat down to eat together... but as different people finished their meals ( some had a la carte, some had carvery, some sweets etc so people were finishing at separate times) - two things that made me cross - 1, the waitresses were clearing plates - ie reaching across people who were still eating. and 2, family members were leaving the table!!! This latter in particular makes me so cross - how rude? They didn't seem to grasp the basic manners of dining together. In the end there was only Mum, Dad, My bro, his girlfriend, my nephew and me left, Whilst all the rest had dribbled off to the bar. Am I alone in thinking this appalling manners? At the end of the evening some of them didn't even thank my Dad. Pah.

Ada (my Grandmother) has reached that point where she appears to have shrunk. she was a shell of her former self ( sorry to talk in cliches!) - it's wierd, 'cos I don't have any feeling for her, never have, she's just Dad's Mum. She has been quite horrible in the past, manipulative etc, so I don't feel sad. just concerned for my Dad as she looked so frail and poorly.

I have just watched Buffalo Soldiers - and was bored stiff.. didn't like, root for, empathise with or feel any sympathy for any of the characters. Was bored, couldn't wait for the end (literally I was f/forwarding!) and hated it when i got there ( so if anyone wants it....)

Finally wrote to my friend ( 2nd time this year, nice to see I'm keeping my one a week resolution!)

Pah - gonna find something else to watch now, to take away the pahness... dunno what tho.. want something pretty..

Edit: Much happier now - have just finished watching Bad Education, which was lovely, involved my mind, engaged with the (very) pretty and was just intelligent, interesting, amusing, sexy and intriguing. Hurrah.

The mello ran away somewhere yesterday morning and i have been feeling cranky, crabby and cranky. Pah.

I was invited out yesterday and declined, then felt guilty and crabbier still for the rest of the evening - I read a book before bed then spent the next 4 hours going over and over it, dreaming/wakedreaming and just restless. last time i looked at my clock was 4am... so particularly unrested today! - then I had to go grocery shopping and I HATE grocery shopping, i get fractious and manky even when i start off in a good mood! - witnessed a shouting match between two strangers, one of whom had bumped into the other without due regard and apology, full out hollering in the aisles, so I know it's not just me who feels like that!

Mother and father invited me out for dinner - but would I drive 'cos dad's been at his naval association and been drinking rum...! Still I went and had a massive plate of roast dinner, so felt somewhat revived after that (I do get shakey and weepy when I don't eat... may explain my lumpen shape!)

Came home and watche ROPE - which cheered me up no end, I love the claustrophobic air of filmed stage plays and this had that in spades, even though it wasn't exactly that. The homosexuality was so well hinted at in a film that never once mentioned it ( even on set or in the writing process according to the author!) - and I loved the explicit direction, it was great, and did lift my mood a little..

Ah well, lunch with ex colleagues tomorrow, then shopping - I have £25 book tokens... so that will cheer me up more...!