working on it

I've got to go back to work tomorrow. Which is depressing and distressing in equal measures. I am trying to not think about it, which isn't the best of ploys. I shall be going to bed imminently not sure whether that's a preparatory or an avoidance technique.

But! I've had a week off and it has been good and I have been busy -I have sewn (although not finished anything yet, as I got distracted), I have painted my bathroom, I have eaten out almost every day. I have seen friends and I have taken Mother shopping, I have seen friends, I have read fic, I have revamped my garden. (My garden is tiny, and "revamping" was really only removing a winter's worth of cat poo, stripping the bark away, replacing it with compost, weeding, pruning and planting out 72 Lobelia (I bought trays of plants, they were on offer, 3 for 2, I never looked at how many were in the trays, and now I have 72 Lobelia) I also have 3 periwinkle in pots. All of that took just long enough for me to have aching limbs and one shoulder and half my back burnt to buggery, whilst the rest remains resolutely lily white.) I lost track of my brackets there.

I also cleared out my clothes - wardrobes and chest of drawers, after opening a drawer I rarely use and finding a stack full of clothes I didn't remember owning. It sounds as if I have oodles of gear, but I'm just a rut dresser, wearing the same 7/8 outfits on a cycle. So, today I tried on, rejected unworn clobber (and found some stuff that I didn't know I liked - it's almost like shopping!

And I've been watching season 1 H50 and remembering when it was all good and every episode didn't make me cross.

The highlight for me has been the last two days though, I put my foot down (with myself as much as anyone else) and vowed that I wasn't going to leave the house. I can't remember the last time I did that (I can, it was before we lost Dad), since then I've been to Mum everyday, or on the days I haven't, it's been because I've been somewhere else and couldn't make it. These past two days are I think the first where I've just been here, doing what I want, with no time table. I haven't been idle, it's these two days that have seen me gardening and wardrobe sorting, but I've done it at my own pace. I haven't even gotten dressed today (or I've gotten dressed a hundred times, if you count trying on all my clothes!) and it's just been mellow. (Even if I've eaten cream crackers for all three meals, because I have no other food in the house!)

Anyway.

Work tomorrow. Bed now.

Last day of freedom. ooer.
Sposed to be having a last rush on tidying things - ie finding room for my beanbag and my New!printer in my 'me' room, but arrival of new!Printer, means that I just want to play with it - it scans!copies!prints!faxes!does other probably quite clever things that I haven't read about yet! - took me 2 hours to get it set up tho, 'cos of all the stuped wires and leads under my desk - my desk is the size of a small village, so I have to literally crawl right under it to get a plug, crawl right out again etc etc, I concocted all sorts of clever fishing rod-esqu things to pull leads about and it was all very constructive.

pointless post -

When my uncle died recently and they did the house clearing, there were constant exclamations of "*why* has he got so many...x,y,z" and much humoour and incredulity.

I have now hit 8, yes EIGHT table lamps. mugs inumerable and clothing I don't even remember buying, let alone wearing. I want to 'tidy' nice things - like go through my dvds and prune the 'one frees' of all the bogofs I've bought random discs for and will never watch again. I want to sort through books and discard those I'll never read. Instead I'm stuck in some kind of Mummy's Hand cycle of bloody table lamps!

And scarves - I have one neck, why have I so many woollen scarves? rargh!

having a sort out... have replaced these with DVD, so does anyone on my flist, or anyone out there even, want:

Queer As Folk (UK Version)
The Full Monty
Dangerous Lady
Go Fish
Quantum Leap~: Americanisation of Machiko & What Price Glori
Quantum Leap~: Shock Theater & Dreams
Quantum Leap~: The Colour of Truth & Camikaze Kid
Quantum Leap~: The Leap Home partts 1 & 2
Quantum Leap~: The pilot episode

????

All on UK PAl format.

EDIT: These are video tapes not dvds...

today I have a man coming round - unfortunately it is a married friend of the family, so I won't be oggling - instead I will be trying to be adult and home-ownery, and getting a quote for central heating.. I have vowed that I will not spend another winter crouched in front of the computer wearing 7 layers of clothing! No more will I have to dare myself to strip for a bath (I have, no word of a lie, taken a bath in a jumper, whilst I did all the leg shaving bits!) Anyway, TMI aside, the man coming means that I am whirling through my house with hoover and duster and trying to pretend that I am not a sloverny, slattern who would be voted out of the 50s housewife club in disgrace.
Thank goodness it is sunny that's all I can say, I can't do housework when it's gloomy (!), oh and I've found where the cat's pee smell was coming from - all the time I have washed the walls, and the cupboards, floors and furniture... the bloody thing peed on the hoover! - the thing I have been moving to get to all the washing surfaces! Argh!

What else? My poorly peugeot is going to the auction today... Dad and I spent Sunday afternoon washing her and making her pretty - (dad used a brillo pad to get a mark off - we had... words is the best way to put it!) I have a reserve of £850 - she's in good condition, new, low mileage.. ah well, we'll see.

I spent the last three days devouring season 3 of The Shield. omg! ( cut for spoilers - for Ironicdutchess's sake if no-one else! )

Right, erm, I have Life on Mars on order, have been listening obsessively to David Bowie, and read two excellent fics over the weekend - which I have just remembered I didn't feedback on - will be there later to do that!. I have been in bed for two days of the long weekedn with a migraine, I have spent £150 on bargain clothes, including 4 bra, and am feeling suprisingly positive!

Anyway, I have to go - wash the vacuum cleaner for starters! - I will no doubt be back later!!

Well I think there are too many exclamation points on my keyboard, I seem to be using far too many. I may try and pretend they don't exist at all for a little while.

I am supposed to be cleaning etc - but i am so disorganised, I have a trillion different things that need doing, and just keep randomly starting them without finishing. I have a half stripped bed, half a oile of laundry put away, I need to hang some pictures, need to hoover and have a pile of bags to take out to the bins.. and then I remembered I needed to check ebay, and now i'm on here an getting further sidetracked. plus. it will be lunch time soon. argh.

Brokeback has come to our small town at last ( there would be an exclamation point here if they existed). I obviously wanna go see it, but have no friends who would go see it with me ( one expressed vague interest, I called her to maybe arrange it and the only answer I got was 'dunno') So now I have to be brave enough to go alone - which I have limited qualms about when in the city, but become less brave about when facing the thought of our small lil cinema...

(My friend and his partner went to see it a while ago - friend quite liked it, but wanted more sex, his partner had a major reaction to it and sunk into a depression and ended up calling his therapist to talk about the issues it raised...)

Right.. must do some work..

pah. work sucks.
Did I say that already? Speck so.
I am kind of promising myself a shopping trip in my lunch break to cheer myself up and help me thru the day, but i think i have booked people in over the lunch hour and daren't look to see! Ah well, there is wed, and thurs and all the days to infinity that loom ahead of me. !

enuff of the misery - I cooked proper food today, chickeny stuff and baked pot, and have half read a book, these are good things. I started putting all my clothes away - it's not that i own a lot, just that i NEVER put them away, they have been growing into a massive pile bigger than my house, so i spread them all out on my bed to put away today, sorted into piles for each drawer and cupboard etc... they is still there. I am a slob, but promise that i will put them away before bed, rather than just pile back into linen baskets...

i watched 102 dalmations today - for which much shame - I thought Hugh might be in it agian (and it seemed better than clothes) - it was awful. I got cross at the crapp Probation stuff, and all i could think was how much it would cost to put 102 dalmations in quarantine for 6 months.. I AM getting old!

hmm. right.