(no subject)

[lolabobs]

I've been defriended by someone because of a sentence in my last post about Supernatural.

It's been interpreted as Sam hate, and I get that, even though I meant it more in a sense of I was excited for a Dean centric episode. It was an easy enough interpretation to make, I do prefer Dean and I could have phrased it better.

Besides which everyone is entitled to friend or defriend at will, and I'm not a great assett to a flist, I don't bring a lot to the fandom table. get all that. And if I piss you off I expect to get booted.

But it still makes me feel like a naughty schoolgirl and sad.

I never mean to offend anyone with my posts - please tell me if I do.

Comments

[whatho.livejournal.com]

I profoundly think you are a great asset to a flist. Obviously people are allowed to choose and add to and prune their flist as they see fit. But sometimes they do it wrongly. I kind of think you're allowed to express opinions on characters in any way you choose on your own journal.

[lolabobs.livejournal.com]

Thanks.

I think I'm just feeling pants today, and this was just one more sad thing.

x

[silver-chipmunk.livejournal.com]

Someone defriended me once apparently because I talk about being a member of alanon. I was kind of upset for a bit, but then I figured, who needs someone who's ging to defriend them for something like that anyway? It's their problem, not yours. If the only rason you were on their flist in the first place was because they thought you had the exact same feelings about a TV show that they did, that's pretty shallow, and who needs them?

[lauramcewan.livejournal.com]

Yeah, THIS! Darling, you use your journal as you see fit. I can't imagine you ever deliberately trying to offend someone.

[lolabobs.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

:snuggles:

[lolabobs.livejournal.com]

Thanks.

I know it's perfectly normal to only have people you want on a flist, and if you don't like what you read it's entirely appropriate to delist them.

Just feeling rubbishy today (as you know from my other post) and guess it upset me more than it should.

[mara-snh.livejournal.com]

Honey, I believe I was the one who did that, and I'm sorry. I was going through a lot of unholy hell at the time, and I was finding it difficult to encounter your posts because they were so deeply sad. It had nothing to do with Alanon.

"Friending" someone means something to me. I'm not someone who can gloss over posts without reading them. I figure you don't friend somebody and then not listen to them, you know? So please accept my apology. It was not only not personal, but could be interpreted as honoring you by respecting your need to express your sorrow. The alternative of asking you not to was no option at all.

[silver-chipmunk.livejournal.com]

See, that's what I meant when I said I was kind of upset for a bit, because you seemed to have (and apparently still do) this bizzare idea that there was some sort of horrible trauma going on in my life. It really freaked me out that someone got that strange idea. What the heck was so sad in a completely normal urban married-with-teenager life? I couldn't figure it out, I read over my whole journal to see if I could see what you were going on about and what I could have possibly said to have given that impression. Since most of what I was writing about at that point was my birds raising their babies, and me having to raise the littlest one by hand, I was completely confused. There were a couple of times we had a few family fights, but no more frequent or nastier than any other family that I know of.

But eventually I figured out from something you posted on another persons flist that you just can't stand 12-step programs. Whatever. Your problem, not mine. I'm doing fine in my recovery, so's the alcoholic in my life in his. 13 years for me, 12 for him.

BTW, I don't think someone elses friends list is the appropriate place for this, so I won't be commenting on it any more, and I appologize to Lola for the interuption.

[mara-snh.livejournal.com]

You're so right about this not being appropriate for Lola's site, and Lola, I'm sorry, too, but I just wanted to clarify something before dropping the subject. FIrst, I wasn't reacting to your involvement in Alanon; I forget if I was even aware of it. My reaction was just to posts I personally found depressing. Nothing about "horrible trauma," just things that tweaked me in places where I didn't need more tweaking.

I don't "hate" 12-step programs, by the way. They seem to work well for many people. The basic premise conflicts with my religion and philosophy of life, that's all.

[kassidy62.livejournal.com]

I saw the post you made and I thought, boy, she really doesn't like Sam. As you know, I'm a really big Sam fan. And I thought then about how anyone would want to watch the show if they don't like both characters, just because I can't imagine it. I like seeing them together and wasn't happy that Sam wasn't in the episode much. But of course I'm still here, bugging you - we've been acquaintances for a while and I'm looking forward to more:)

Really, there's quite a divide in the fandom amongst some Samgirls and Deangirls at times, so maybe the issue's somewhat inflamed, particularly at this point with the Sam-less episode. I read some postings about it and wished to hell I hadn't - it wasn't exactly feelgood material and it made me irritable, too, at myself as much as at others. I'm not a fan of a fandom divided, but I guess that's what happens all too often?

Ugh, I'm rambling. At any rate, of course it's your journal and you should post whatever the hell you feel like posting, yes? We're all going to lose friends at one point or another.

At any rate, here's hoping your mood lightens up soon and you feel better:)

[kassidy62.livejournal.com]

um, I meant like flist friends, because people sign on and off journals as their interests cease to coincide and the like, and a lot of it isn't really all that personal. I wrote we're all going to lose friends- it sounds like I'm saying easy come, easy go, and I really didn't mean it like it sounded.

sigh. Maybe I should go back to bed.

[lolabobs.livejournal.com]

No, I guessed you meant flist friends - No worries :)

[lolabobs.livejournal.com]

I saw the post you made and I thought, boy, she really doesn't like Sam.

Really? Just the one line or did it all come across as Sam hate? I really *don't* hate Sammy - I love seeing the way he and Dean bounce off each other and interact. I love the way they feel about each other and the conflict that's bound to come is part of that.

I'm sad that what I meant as a facetious throw away remark has a) come across in a way I didn't mean it to and b) cost me a flister. Especially when I really enjoyed the epsiode and can't wait for the next ones.

I guess this just goes to show how very easy it is to 'say' the wrong thing without verbal inflections and NVC.

And you're right, I should be bale to say whatever I like, but I generally try to avoid upsetting people in RL and that carries across to on here too.

I shall have to be very careful as to how I express myself.

(nb - Even if you did read it as Sam hate I'm very glad you're sticking around x)

[kassidy62.livejournal.com]

Of course I'm sticking around. The internet SUCKS for miscommunication. I've noticed, for example, that a lot of my British friends have a GREAT sense of humor, I mean I seriously love it, but they're very dry or flippant and sometimes I don't catch it at first, like if I'm reading in a hurry - which is my way of saying that not only do we have to deal with the inherent problems of communicating our more subtle emotions and sense of humor through our chatty snarky social meanderings on our journals, we also have to deal with regional differences and how we express ourselves differently.

Oh, to answer your question - just the one line came off that way, dear. I though you were sick of Sam and happy he was gone. I TOTALLY missed that it was a throw-away remark, not that I'm the brightest bulb around.

I loved the episode, too. All kinds of creepy stuff going on, not to mention how the family is almost creepy itself. I mean, they're great, but theyr'e so in each other's pockets, you know? Which I actually love.

So are you a fan of the Sam vs. Dean storyline some are predicting? Me, I don't have a clue if I'd like it or not. Depends on how it plays out.



God, I do blabber on today, but here's hoping that again you realize my point. I think maybe you were being flippant and I thought you were serious is all.

[lolabobs.livejournal.com]

So are you a fan of the Sam vs. Dean storyline some are predicting?

I'm in favour of the angst and tension it will produce - the internal conflict with each of them trying to deal with being on different sides - but I don't think I want them to be full out against each other - they need each other!

[mara-snh.livejournal.com]

Poor baby! Sounds as if you might be better off without that silly energy hanging around anyway, right? You shouldn't let total strangers (which, let's face it, most "Friends" are) try to tell us what to post on our own journals, right?

[lolabobs.livejournal.com]

Thanks - It all makes sense, and I think I was/am feeling vulnerable and weepy today, so took it harder than I may have another time.

[mara-snh.livejournal.com]

Hey, I think we've all been there at least once! Not to worry....

[elfinessy.livejournal.com]

It's weird, I defriended someone months ago because they told me one of my comments was the most ridiculous thing they'd ever heard and I was trying to be serious. It was an over reaction but it was someone I never really talked to or knew anyway.

You're a wonderful asset to my flist :-)

[lolabobs.livejournal.com]

Thank you x

[lydia-petze.livejournal.com]

OK, I read your post and know the post of the person I think you're talking about - and I didn't interpret your post as Sam-hate (more like Dean-love and the chance to have a Dean-episode, honestly I didn't give it all that much thought) but I can see how someone who both loves Sam and has seen people bash him elsewhere might have been a bit sensitive about it. There are some words of wisdom in these comments from other folks, though - don't worry about it too much /hugs/

[lolabobs.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

Like I said above (only just though,so you won't hve seen!) I'm feeling particularly rubbishy today, so took it harder than I might have done. I'm not normally quite o fragile :)

It made me sad 'cos it was just meant to be a squeeful post and not about hate at all - but like you say, everyone brings their own thoughts and experience with them.

hugs x

[jekesta]

That is quite weird, it's not like your journal is all devoted to Sam hate or anything. I can sort of see why someone would have got bored with me constantly going 'OH SAM IS DULL I DO NOT LOVE HIM' in all my Supernatural posts - if indeed I had bothered to friend ANYONE in the fandom like - but your journal is not like that at all. But at the same time I know big fandoms and a lot of fandom on your flist can make everything seem really loaded, even small comments, and people get all very tense over stuff. I know you know that, I am late at commenting, and also not very good.

It can feel really weird when people defriend you over stuff like that though, especially if they tell you why, and yes, it does feel a bit like you're a child whose been told off when you didn't know anything was wrong.

I very much agree with whatho, I love having you on my flist, you are easily one of my favourite journals. ::dances you lots::

[lolabobs.livejournal.com]

Yeah - It all felt quite wierd, and I was being a bit rubbish yesterday too which didn't help.

:loves you muchly:

[sizzleleg.livejournal.com]

Someone defriended you because you said something negative about a character in a TV program? Mate, that's just ridiculous. Clearly they're derranged; I wouldn't worry about it, love. Some people on the internet actually need to get a life. If someone defirended me eveytime I slagged something off I wouldn't have any friends at all! Say what you like, it's your journal.

Also sorry for being a crap LJ friend recently, I haven't had intenet access apart from my uni library for over a year! hope you're well

xx

[lolabobs.livejournal.com]

Nice to hear from you - I know you've had limited access and lots going on - hope the new academic year is good for you!