(no subject)

[lolabobs]

I am so cross with myself. Today the garage came and took my car to be repaired. They bought a courtesy car in its stead, but it was a manual. I'd asked for an automatic but although "they tried" they failed.

Now I passed my test in a manual - but that was 22 years ago. Shortly after I passed I had a near miss accident and completely lost my confidence. I didn't drive in a car again until I got an automatic whenI started work after my break down (mental not auto!) in 1997. About 1998 I drove a manual for a week, for the 10 minute drive between work and home when my own car was written off. Since then it's always been an auto.

Dad drove over to me tonight (it's a 30 minute drive between work and home now) and tried to help me drive. It was horrendous. We waited till rush hour had gone by, but there are some major roundabouts between here and there. I stalled at the first large roundabout - 5 times,and had this stupid troll behind me hooting and pippingher horn. 'Cos that was gonna help. I mean, I was doing it deliberately to slow her up. Grr! We went to the nearest industrial estate, so I could practise - but I just couldn't do it. There seemed to be no way to discern what gear I was in (I know teh engine noise etc tells you, but I couldn't handle it. The thing felt out of my control and in teh end I had to give up. I made it back to my workplace and left the car there. Dad drove me home and he and a friend will take me to work tomorrow, so Dad can drive teh car home.

I am *so* infuriated at myself and cannot believe how absolutely pathetic I've been. Yet even that sense of self-disgust isn't enough to make me wanna drive it.

Comments

[scaratch.livejournal.com]

I get very anxious driving too. It sucks because other people make it look so easy. I hate people who hoot for the wrong reasons, I thought it was there to help prevent accidents not to use as a means of expressing anger. Don't put yourself down, you won't want to drive if you keep thinking you can't do it. My driving instructor used to keep repeating the phrase, "you're allowed to be here" (or something like that) whenever I got nervous, and I still repeat it over and over to this day when I feel anxious on the road. Just keep reminding yourself that you passed your test and you are capable of driving.

[lolabobs.livejournal.com]

I think I'm more annoyed with myself because I have gotten so much more confident driving automatics. I drive all over the country to various prisons and so on, and get into my car, or teh hire car wih nary a qualm - that this thing knocked me so much is what really annoys me.

And you're driving instructor's mantra is similar to my Dad;s, who always tells me not to worry about other people on the road, to just get on with it!

Ah well - one day pehaps, I'll take refresher lessons!

[mrs-sweetpeach.livejournal.com]

Be nice to yourself. You're a wonderful person and it's no "courtesy" to bring you a car you aren't comfortable driving. Maybe sometime in the far off future you will decide that relearning how to drive a manual would be fun, but right now it isn't and that's perfectly fine.

[lolabobs.livejournal.com]

Thanks - I guess it's annoying to have lost a skill you once had - but I shall instead focus on my hugely increased confidence in driving automatic cars - (she says as she prepares to drive cross country tomorrow!)

[hardboiledbaby]

I'd be cross with the garage, I think. :-( I've never driven a stick shift (I tried to learn once, but that was an utter disaster). Don't feel bad, hon. *hugs*

[lolabobs.livejournal.com]

Thanks (and yes! I am cross with the garage!)