(no subject)
Oct. 29th, 2011 11:32 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lolabobsI'm not coping brilliantly with things at the moment. I am on the surface, jolly, jokey Lola at work and play - but it's hard right now. I'm sleeping appallingly - this last week my dreams have been classic anxiety dreams (Why can't I dream about Steve and Danno every night, huh?) - So I'm lost, can't find my way, find myself in situations with everyone staring at me, or doing things wrong, or falling... all very cliche, classic stuff.
Work - well, work continues as it does, we move offices in a week, yesterday we had the *first* meeting to discuss things like, oh I don't know, who's going to do reception?, how are we going to fit 13 staff members, seeing hundreds of offenders into 6 offices? Health and Safety things like that. But no need to stress there, we've got a whole week to sort it all out!
It's funny, there's a kind of mass, fatalistic hysteria about it all now. It's going to happen, it's gonna be shite, we're gonna get on with it. It actually feels much better in that regard.
My 'direction' to the Programmes half of my job expired in Sept, but no one realised. I found my contract, realised I was working 'illegally' as it were and called HR. For a day and a half there was the possibility (faint) that I would no longer have to do programmes. I got an email Thursday morning telling me they'd extended the direction (ie forcing me to do it) for another 6 months - and I wanted to cry. It's all just too much. It means I will be doing 2 jobs, in 4 days across 3 locations. UGH. Ironically though, group is becoming easier and the actual delivery bit more fun. My last two performance assessments I've gotten the highest marks ever (3.82 out of 4). I'm so confused about all of it.
It's all confusing me, it's all overwhelming me. I find myself sitting and staring instead of working, knowing I have so much work to do, so many deadlines to meet. I don't know.
My social life is busy too, Fridays are normally my only night off (well, working late Mon and Thursday, swimming tuesday, meal and quiz wed) the past fortnight though, I've been booked out Fri too, Saturday and Sundays daytimes booked as well and although I like/love the people I'm doing things with, I start to crack when I don't get time to myself. I'm busy every day of the coming week too, and just want to crawl away and hide.
Yesterday though, although it was sad in the extent that a planned night out wasn't able to happen and it would have been good, there was a cancellation.
So yesterday I cried, I went and bought myself the H50 boxset, despite its ludicrous price, then I went to bed at 4pm.
OH! But I have a lovely blue spider! Thank you![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
elfinessy He's so cute!
Work - well, work continues as it does, we move offices in a week, yesterday we had the *first* meeting to discuss things like, oh I don't know, who's going to do reception?, how are we going to fit 13 staff members, seeing hundreds of offenders into 6 offices? Health and Safety things like that. But no need to stress there, we've got a whole week to sort it all out!
It's funny, there's a kind of mass, fatalistic hysteria about it all now. It's going to happen, it's gonna be shite, we're gonna get on with it. It actually feels much better in that regard.
My 'direction' to the Programmes half of my job expired in Sept, but no one realised. I found my contract, realised I was working 'illegally' as it were and called HR. For a day and a half there was the possibility (faint) that I would no longer have to do programmes. I got an email Thursday morning telling me they'd extended the direction (ie forcing me to do it) for another 6 months - and I wanted to cry. It's all just too much. It means I will be doing 2 jobs, in 4 days across 3 locations. UGH. Ironically though, group is becoming easier and the actual delivery bit more fun. My last two performance assessments I've gotten the highest marks ever (3.82 out of 4). I'm so confused about all of it.
It's all confusing me, it's all overwhelming me. I find myself sitting and staring instead of working, knowing I have so much work to do, so many deadlines to meet. I don't know.
My social life is busy too, Fridays are normally my only night off (well, working late Mon and Thursday, swimming tuesday, meal and quiz wed) the past fortnight though, I've been booked out Fri too, Saturday and Sundays daytimes booked as well and although I like/love the people I'm doing things with, I start to crack when I don't get time to myself. I'm busy every day of the coming week too, and just want to crawl away and hide.
Yesterday though, although it was sad in the extent that a planned night out wasn't able to happen and it would have been good, there was a cancellation.
So yesterday I cried, I went and bought myself the H50 boxset, despite its ludicrous price, then I went to bed at 4pm.
OH! But I have a lovely blue spider! Thank you
elfinessy He's so cute!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-10-29 11:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-10-29 07:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-10-29 01:33 pm (UTC)::hugs you::
::hugs Hutch as well, while I'm here::
no subject
Date: 2011-10-29 07:15 pm (UTC)Thank you for mine - I get next Sat and Sun to myself I think - I can get through another week can't I?
no subject
Date: 2011-10-29 03:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-10-29 07:16 pm (UTC)Work, well work's gonna carry on as it is for... well, until I win the lottery I think. I'll either get used to it or it will kill me.
no subject
Date: 2011-10-29 04:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-10-29 07:19 pm (UTC)I hope I can survive until Fri night! To be honest, seeing it written down makes me panic a little. Ugh.
I need me a lottery win big enough to quit work! (well, this work anyway, I'd like something stress free, cat-petter at a shelter perhaps!)
Fingers crossed!
no subject
Date: 2011-10-29 10:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-09 11:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-10-30 09:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-09 11:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-10-31 03:17 am (UTC)Thank you for my spidey :) Hope you find some "me" time soon *more hugs*
no subject
Date: 2011-11-09 11:26 pm (UTC)