Feeling insecure
Jan. 13th, 2013 12:18 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lolabobsI'm feeling isolated from my friends, feeling ousted and scared. The trigger for this is a silly thing, linked to something that always happens whenever F is back in town and therefore I know it should be ignored, but today it's getting to me - and in the classic cycle of negative thinking,I'm sitting here telling myself bad things about myself and the way my life is and -
normally I accept it, but sometimes the changes since we lost Dad, my new role as carer/manager of all things and the fact that it means all I ever do is work and visit my Mum, and am a kin dof non person, boring and with nothing to contribute really gets to me.
And it's
Oh I don't know. It's because he's back and when he's back I lose his sister and it all gets scary and sad and I'm going to go to bed instead of feeling sorry for myself.
normally I accept it, but sometimes the changes since we lost Dad, my new role as carer/manager of all things and the fact that it means all I ever do is work and visit my Mum, and am a kin dof non person, boring and with nothing to contribute really gets to me.
And it's
Oh I don't know. It's because he's back and when he's back I lose his sister and it all gets scary and sad and I'm going to go to bed instead of feeling sorry for myself.
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no subject
Date: 2013-01-14 10:49 pm (UTC)I'm always amazed and impressed at how much knitting you do - there may be lots of 'stuff' in the world, but it's not evenly or fairly distributed. If you didn't do what you did, the people you gift would go without, or would have to pay for the things they need - you can make the world a better place a person, thought or gift at a time. Very few of us have the blessings to transform a nation or a world - but we can make someone else's life better for a moment or two - that's just as important.
My life is very 'rutty' at the moment - I work, I got to my mother, I get home and sit at the computer. I certainly can't seem to fit in exercise or improvement. I made resolutions and they include things such as eating healthily (not dieting), exercise (I'm failing that one so far) but also things such as reading books, doing something creative and taking a lunch break... who knows how I'll get on.
HUGS galore and love and thoughts x