(no subject)

[lolabobs]

My lovely friend Debs called me today, to tell me her Mum died at the weekend. She died at home unexpectedly, D was away and sent a friend round to check on her when she had no answer to her calls. Deb had to rush home and fight with the Police to allow her mother to stay in the home until she could get there - eventually they agreed and she got to say here goodbyes in the house.

Absolutely dreadful, her brother is working offshore and can't get back and she's dealing with it alone. She called me to tell me, and to ask for what to do lists. So I told her and talked and listened.

And wept my socks off when we'd finished.

Then I went home and hugged my Mum to smithereens.

Oh, and seeming much more trivial than it did when I first saw the post; my nephew married at the weekend. The eldest of my middle brother's children. The family that don't speak to us. Still felt strange seeing the wedding photos on facebook, the younger two kids are very beautiful (the elder somewhat less so), and they all looked happy and gleeful. (top hat and tails, pimp stick and sneakers!) - and they're there without anyone from either family there (They've disowned all of her family too, we're not alone) and it's saddening - but in an abstract way. We've all moved on (it's been 20 years since any meaningful contact).

Anyhoo.

Comments

[whatho.livejournal.com]

Oh, how awful for your friend and how difficult for you - so sorry.

And what a sad family your brother seems to have formed: to have broken contact with everyone in sight.

[lolabobs.livejournal.com]

You're in India! or en route anyway. Be fun having.

The least said about my brother and all the broken bonds the better.

But India!

[loyseofverlaine.livejournal.com]

And hugs to you too. You're a good friend.

[lolabobs.livejournal.com]

Thanks - I'm not doing anything anyone wouldn't do (I've no idea if those words are in the right order, but you get the gist!)

it's hard, 'cos it brings it all back.

[lauramcewan.livejournal.com]

You're a lovely friend to help her like that, and I think anyone would have had a good cry after as well. ((((Hugs))))

A coworker of mine lost her dad on Friday and it hit me like mine did, 11 years ago...it's still hard, but better.

[lolabobs.livejournal.com]

That's the bit I'm not telling her, that it never stops. Of course it gets manageable and you deal with it and it's better and doable and mixed with all the good memories etc, but the hurt, the shock of it, that never goes away.

((hugs))