I am still here...

[lolabobs]

..I'm just a little bit broken at the moment.

This whole convalescent thing is a lot more miserable than I anticipated. Healthwise - well I'm getting better. I have less pain and the pain when it is, is less. I have movement and am able to get out of teh house for short periods - taken for drives, or to a shop for a half hour meander. Generally followed by a 2 hour siesta!

I am kinda borked emotionally though. Can't really face people, lethargic, apathetic and, well, just plain miserable really. Scared of even thinking about work. sweeping wafts of woe and weepiness. Insomnia mixed witha fear of even trying to sleep. bored beyond all measure and bored with myself.

It makes me very frustrated with myself.I feel a fraud for being so woeful when I have no real reason, then irritated with myself, then ashamed, then bored, then... yep, poor attention focus to add to the mix!

Anyway. This is just to explain that I've been so very quiet. I feel unable to comment a lot of the time at the moment, but I'm still reading and feeling and caring - just can't really communicate overly well at the minute. Ah well.

I'll post a picture of a kitten in a minute.

Comments

[lauramcewan.livejournal.com]

awww sweetie!!! (((hugs)))

[ugerchucker.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Here's hoping you're back to normal soon.

And yay, kitten.

[kat-lair.livejournal.com]

aww babe. i don't know if this will cheer you up, but remember the 'bobby & castiel' prompt you gave me ages ago? well, today i've written about 2,000 words of fic for that. it's gen, a sort of an episode tag for 5.15. not quite finished yet, and cos it's longer than a drabble i'll want to get it betaed. but it's coming, soon.

many, many hugs to you darling.

[dipslikeramon.livejournal.com]

Awwww, babe. *BIGHUGS*

[sc-fossil.livejournal.com]

Take care!

[whatho.livejournal.com]

That must be hugely wearing and frustrating for you, but don't be hard on yourself. You're one of a couple of people I know currently recovering from an operation, and the other's really worn out by it as well. I hope things settle down soon.

[scaratch.livejournal.com]

Awww, sorry you're feeling so low. You have every right to be woeful. It will take time to heal inside and out. Hang in there, the weather is probably not helping much either! But we're all thinking of you *hugs*

[jekesta]

*loves you*

[hardboiledbaby]

Aw, sweetie, that's rough. It's not just a physical convalescence, but an emotional one, as well. Hang in there, babe. *hugs*