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[lolabobs]

Last Friday was my friend's birthday; she had a mini party and then we all went to a local pub for Karaoke and fun. We usually go to Boogie Nights, a cheesetastic party night at a night club in the next town, but Daddy used to take us, and rather than have me upset, Paula changed her plans and we stuck to Lowestoft. She's marvellous.

We had a really good night, lots and lots of laughter, hugs and just fun. She was merry and at one point she just hugged me, for such a long time - and it felt so safe and so warm - it made me cry, but I'm used to that. It was a really good night.

Whilst there, we bumped into a second or third cousin of mine, coincidentally the mother of one of Paulette's pupils. I haven't seen her in years, but we spoke and she met Paula etc etc - and her mother was there- Dad's cousin, we nodded and spoke very briefly. (as in 'hello'".

So. Mum's away this week, and I'm on cat duty. I checked her answer machine messages to hear a call from my Aunt, commenting that I was seen at the weekend and had "obviously moved on."

And I'm so angry - and guilty and cross and sad. I miss my Daddy so so very much.

Comments

[lolabobs.livejournal.com]

(hugs)

Thanks - part of me is able to tell myself she didn't mean it, or at least didn't mean it hurtfully. And I'm trying to focus on teh benefot of having a nice time with the people I love. I know my Dad wuldn't want me to be miserable.