working on it

The movie has just been on tv and although I hadn't given it a thought for many many years, watching it I remembered that I had a huge poster of it on my wall at Uni - which led to a complete memory of the other things on my wall and in my space, Much Ado about Nothing poster, Peter's Friends, Star Trek calandar, a life size Kirk cut out figure, Hamlet poster (of Kenneth B at the Barbican), and all the postcards, Quantum Leap, Hamlet again, the Kiss (!) oh, I had such a fannish space - yet not fandomy at all. I didn't even know "fandom" existed then. I used to phone my friend to talk about episodes of Soldier Soldier the minute they were done, we obsessed and squeed over Kenneth Brannagh, we wrote 'Odes' to Emma Thompson. We would both have been so much happier had we had internet and fandom then. Easy contact without phone bills, and the realisation that other people were as obsessed and joyful as we were. Other people wanted Donna to make Dave happy and not cheat. Other people "preferred the book to the film" (Man without a Face), Other people thought it was okay to go and see films over and over again. I don't know.

Yet it's strange - now I have fandom and yet no one in real life to discuss and bounce and squee tv with. My space isn't filled with posters and pictures and images like it was then. I saw Forever Young tonight and I just had a huge 'pang' of loss for that space. Which is ridiculous 'cos I could plaster my walls in just the same way - I have a whole house to do it in now. Now it's almost as if that living space has been compressed into my lap top. All the pictures and stories and silliness is in there and my house is "grown up."

I think that needs to change.